Tag Archives: news

POG – I’ll Stay Here (Balthazar Remix)

As Ali Akbar Khan famously said “real music is not for wealth, not for honours or even the joys of the mind… but as a path for realisation and salvation” we at Telecaster Masters were mere seeds swimming around in our respective parents paunchy sacks.

Therefore we reject this phrase as complete nonsense; real music is what makes you gyrate your pelvis onto the nearest female, gets you kicked out of a club for being sick, convinces you to take another pill and posts selfies of you having a fun time to Facebook.

That’s what real music is, rock is dead.

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Bloc Party – Montreal

The most sensitive black man in music is back with another club banger. Don’t be a stranger.

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Brothertiger – Wind at my Back

“She is consuming fire” he told me,

“and I have been scorched – oh, so often”

I sympathised; she had urged me on in love making with a hairbrush, but with him it had been a dog-whip, and he was a frail sort of a fellow, you know.

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Ducktails – Letter of Intent

Wouldn’t it be funny if the royal baby was black?

No, not really.

You are the racist.


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Hospital Ships – If it speaks

Here’s the lovely Hospital Ships with a fantastic Arcade Fire rip off.

Who says derivative and lazy music can’t be enjoyable?

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Speedy Ortiz – No Below

1145 views at the time of posting, now that’s cutting-fucking-edge.

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Ghost Loft – So High

If ever you find yourself with a ghost in your loft, get this cunt on the blower.
He’ll sort you right out.

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James Holden – Renata

I once knew a girl called Renata.

Fucking terrifying, I tell thee.

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Destroyer – Chinatown

I love China and all the Chinamen and Chinamenwomen in it.  I love their black hair and sweaty, irritable bowel syndrome- inducing food.

But what I don’t love is the ‘Chinatown’ in London.

It’s not a town is it? It’s barely a novelty street, don’t fucking lie to me.

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R.E.M. – Nightswimming

God this song makes me yearn for a simpler time.

A time when we believed our economic boom would never end.
A time when we were blissfully unaware that global warming would eventually destroy us.
A time when the threat of Hezbollah wasn’t so damn apparent.

Maybe a return to those glory days awaits us… maybe not.

In the meantime, you could do worse than enjoy this beauty courtesy of the greatest Dad’s band ever.

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