Category Archives: Ambient

POG – I’ll Stay Here (Balthazar Remix)

As Ali Akbar Khan famously said “real music is not for wealth, not for honours or even the joys of the mind… but as a path for realisation and salvation” we at Telecaster Masters were mere seeds swimming around in our respective parents paunchy sacks.

Therefore we reject this phrase as complete nonsense; real music is what makes you gyrate your pelvis onto the nearest female, gets you kicked out of a club for being sick, convinces you to take another pill and posts selfies of you having a fun time to Facebook.

That’s what real music is, rock is dead.

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Ducktails – Letter of Intent

Wouldn’t it be funny if the royal baby was black?

No, not really.

You are the racist.


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Ghost Loft – So High

If ever you find yourself with a ghost in your loft, get this cunt on the blower.
He’ll sort you right out.

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CFCF – You Hear Colours

You’re only ever going to be as big as you see yourself.

Now fuck off you midget.

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Four Tet – Unspoken

In nonsense is strength;

which arguably is all we write about.

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Heavenly Beat – Elite

A song so effing sweet I feel a right noofter putting it up.

But best believe I’m gonna do it anyway. Fuck Yeah.

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Vondelpark – California Analog Dream

This lovely bit of tuneage makes me want to end all the bad things on earth.

Racism, stubbing your toe, famine etc.

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William Tyler – Cadillac Desert

Everything William Tyler lacks in guitar playing ability, he more than makes up for with his incredible vocals.

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Brian Eno – By This River

Here were are again dear reader. In this session we are treated to a somber lullaby of love and loss,  eavesdropping on  the final echo’s of a doomed relationship. Brian Eno, a man who should be a household name for his dress sense alone, reminds us all the dangers of feeling emotions. And possibly river’s.

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